postcard: hearts

pay attention, aliens

The space alien who landed on Earth that day was very smart but a little lazy. He could fly a spaceship very far and very fast, but he hadn't studied his words very much. 

His name was Omega 5, from the Omega family back on his home planet. His parents were Omega 1 and Omega 2. His older sisters were Omegas 3 and 4. That made him Omega 5. Omega 5's teachers had told him and told him that the first thing he should say when he got to Earth was ... "TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER." But Omega 5 had only listened a little bit. Mostly he thought about flying through space. When Omega 5 landed on Earth, he came down right outside a school. He didn't want anyone to be scared, so the first thing he did was to put on a VISITOR sticker so he could walk through the hall. Omega 5 saw some boys and girls in the hall. But he forgot what he was supposed to say. Instead of "Take me to your leader," he said ... "TAKE ME TO YOUR LADDER." And so the boys and girls did. They took Omega 5 to a ladder. He climbed to the top, but being an alien -- they have 17 legs, you know -- he lost his balance and fell, hurting his head. The boys and girls put some tape on the hurt. "This doesn't seem quite right," Omega 5 thought to himself. So he tried again. "TAPE ME TO A CEDAR." And so they did. The boys and girls carried Omega 5 outside and used some more tape to tape him to a big cedar tree. Then the bell rang and they all went home for the day. That night it rained. Omega 5 was still taped to the tree, all wet and muddy. When the boys and girls came back to school the next morning, Omega 5 tried again. "SHAKE ME WHEN I'M CLEANER." And so they did. They took Omega 5 to the laundry room, put him in the washing machine, then put him in the dryer. Then they shook him like you do a towel that's been in the sand all day. Omega 5 was now very clean and very confused. He tried again. "BAKE ME LIKE A WEINER." And so they did. They took him to the cafeteria, put him in a pan and stuck him in the oven. When the timer dinged, they took him out and put mustard on him and were just getting ready to have him for lunch when he yelled ... "WAIT! WAIT! TAKE ME TO YOUR TEACHER!" And so they did. The boys and girls took him to Mrs. Calabash, the words teacher. Omega 5 sat in class and learned just enough words to say to Mrs. Calabash ... "NOW I KNOW! TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!" And so she did. Mrs. Calabash took him straight to the principal's office. The principal sent Omega 5 home with a note. When Omega 5 landed back on his own planet, he showed everyone the note. It said ... Omega 5 is very smart and eager, but his spelling could be a little neater. If you send him back we'll sit him next to Peter. I think we can make him a better reader. Signed, The Leader

postcard: once upon a time

i think daddy's awake

when my daddy wakes up in the morning, he always does the same things before going to work.

he sits on the side of the bed, stretching and yawning and rubbing his eyes.

he goes out to the end of the driveway to pick up the morning toothpaste.

he opens the toothpaste, looks at it, then waves to the neighbors.

in the kitchen, he takes down a cup and pours in some hot steaming shampoo. he adds a little milk. for flavor.

he reads his toothpaste and sips his shampoo at the breakfast table.

he's hungry. he opens the door to the car and gets out two slices of shoes.

he sticks the shoes in the toaster.

he says hello to the goldpants in the aquarium, then sprinkles in some socks for them to nibble on.

when the shoes pop out, he eats them all up. delicious.

he goes in the bathroom, rubs some kisses on his face and shaves.

in the shower he turns on the hot and cold coffee.

he gets in, grabs a bar of butter and bathes.

he sings.

he gets out, grabs his favorite white bread from the bread rack and dries himself all over.

he goes in the bedroom, where he pulls some clothes out of the refrigerator.

he puts on some money and a fish. he zips up his money and buttons his fish.

back to the bathroom, where he combs the newspaper on his head.

he squeezes a little shirt on his toothbrush and brushes his teeth.

he comes into the living room, gives my mom and me lots of hugs and towels and says, "i'm off!"

he gets into his big red soap and drives away to work.

there he goes.

i wonder what he does at work.