Saturday, August 16, 2008

pay attention, aliens

The space alien who landed on Earth that day was very smart but a little lazy. He could fly a spaceship very far and very fast, but he hadn't studied his words very much.

His name was Omega 5, from the Omega family back on his home planet. His parents were Omega 1 and Omega 2. His older sisters were Omegas 3 and 4. That made him Omega 5.

Omega 5's teachers had told him and told him that the first thing he should say when he got to Earth was ...

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER."

But Omega 5 had only listened a little bit. Mostly he though about flying through space.

When Omega 5 landed on Earth, he came down right outside a school. He didn't anyone to be scared, so the first thing he was to put on a VISITOR sticker so he could walk through the hall.

Omega 5 saw some boys and girls in the hall. But he forgot what he was supposed to say. Instead of "Take me to your leader," he said ...

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LADDER."

And so the boys and girls did. They took Omega 5 to a ladder. He climbed to the top, but being an alien -- they have 17 legs, you know -- he lost his balance and fell, hurting his head. The boys and girls put some tape on the hurt.

"This doesn't seem quite right," Omega 5 thought to himself. So he tried again.

"TAPE ME TO A CEDAR."

And so they did. The boys and girls carried Omega 5 outside and used some more tape to tape him to a big cedar tree. Then the bell rang and they all went home for the day.

That night it rained. Omega 5 was still taped to the tree, all wet and muddy.

When the boys and girls came back to school the next morning, Omega 5 tried again.

"SHAKE ME WHEN I'M CLEANER."

And so they did. They took Omega 5 to the laundry room, put him in the washing machine, then put him in the dryer. Then they shook him like you do a towel that's been in the sand all day.

Omega 5 was now very clean and very confused. He tried again.

"BAKE ME LIKE A WEINER."

And so they did. They took him to the cafeteria, put him in a pan and stuck him in the oven. When the timer dinged, they took him out and put mustard on him and were just getting ready to have him for lunch when he yelled ...

"WAIT! WAIT! TAKE ME TO YOUR TEACHER!"

And so they did. The boys and girls took him to Mrs. Calabash, the words teacher.

Omega 5 sat in class and learned just enough words to say to Mrs. Calabash ...

"NOW I KNOW! TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"

And so she did. Mrs. Calabash took him straight to the principal's office.

The principal sent Omega 5 home with a note.

When Omega 5 landed back on his own planet, he showed everyone the note. It said ...

Omega 5 is very smart and eager,
but his spelling could be a little neater.
If you send him back we'll sit him next to Peter.
I think we can make him a better reader.

Signed,
The Leader

No comments: